Energy Update...."Do you have children" was the opening line.....

Ok, Mumma's out there, here is the update....

I had a full blood test done a few weeks ago and met with GP for the results last Friday. The GP I met with,  is one I do not see often and as she sat me done, she asked "Do you have children?". My heart stopped as I asked her "Am I pregnant?".....she smiled and said "No". I replied "Lucky, as I would be suing someone's arse if I was!" (husband had vasectomy 3 years ago.

The GP smiled and continued to explain that all my bloods were excellent. Although, my Vitamin D is too low and needs to be supplemented to avoid osteoporosis in older age, as well as my Iron. Other than that, she suggested to "look at my lifestyle". What does that mean!!!

Anyway, I am off for my body scan this week and to the naturopath on Friday to look at the summary of my health. Since seeing the naturopath last time, I have been eating for my blood type, which is what she suggested, and I have noticed a difference. Check out the website - http://www.dadamo.com/

I have also gone back to exercise with a routine. Not only has my health and energy motivated me to do so, but the thought of swimming in a bikini in 5 weeks time when we go for our holidays, has put a rocket up me to get moving!

Stay tuned.......

Hot Date with Husband? Can it be possible.....

When was the last time you had a hot date with your husband? Just the two of you. If you can't remember, you need to read this blog and commit to planning a special night.

Ahhh, I hear the excuses already! No babysitter, no money, no time, no connection or not sure where to start? Let's say, I can provide you with the solutions to your excuses and guarantee the result will be better than you expected.....

It's always been my focus and priority to have the balance in place with work and life, as well as ensure the practice of love languages (remember the book I mentioned a few weeks ago) is the foundation. Now, there are times where we don't see eye to eye or have arguments, but more often than not, our marriage is pretty solid. I truly believe a contributing factor is our date night theory.

Each week, we organise a date night for just the two of us. It may be sharing a bottle of wine together with a delicious cheese platter, watching a dvd in bed with hot choco, going out for dinner or whatever takes our fancy. The rules - no talking about kids, money or business.

It has been a major point in our relationship, especially if we are having the odd silent treatment or ongoing arguments, as we know that our date night is coming up and we are confronted with each other to sort it out. It also guarantees one night together to reconnect and have time just for us. There are weeks when we are buggered and are busy, but to not do a date night, is not an option.

So, here is my advice for you.....

1. Start with a date night - choose one night during the week that works for you both
2. Take turns in organising the date night - we alternate each week. Much better this way as its a two way commitment
3. If babysitting is tricky, keep your date night in your house when the kids are in bed. Kick off can be 7.30pm/8.00pm. If you kids are not in bed by 8pm, get it sorted so that they are for that one night.
4. If budgets are tight, that's fine too. Time together costs nothing. Grab a DVD for $4 (date night is a great movie to watch) or a nice bottle of wine for $10
5. Too tired! Get over it. You need to invest in your marriage. What you put in, you will get back
6. Too busy? Too bad. We are all stinking busy. To get the support you need in your marriage, you need to reconnect and be on the same page

More advice:

Babysitting - Last year my sister-in-law suggested that we swap over our kids for babysitting to give each other the chance for a kid free night. It is the best idea! We have no guilt when leaving our kids. They have a ball. Plus its nice to be able to pay back the favour. If you don't have family support in this way, find a neighbour or a high school girl to babysit for a few hours. They charge between $10 and $15 per hour. Its worth the 2 hours to get away

Money - Don't use this as an excuse. You can organise date nights at a minimal cost. There are so many great deals on at the moment. Join the database of www.spreets.com.au and www.cudo.com.au. Snap up an opportunity to dine at a gorgeous restaurant at a great price

No Connection - It's easy to have no connection with your partner. Sometimes you don't even realise it until its too late. However, if you want to change your marriage for the better, its time to step up and take ownership. Often the problem is lack of communication and living in separate worlds under the same house. A date night will bring back the intimacy, the communication and reconnection, which in turn, will bring back your marriage

So, all you need to do, is commit. Would love to hear your date night stories! Get creative, have fun and feel the difference. Enjoy!

Are women born bitchy?

It has made me wonder! Just before I get into this topic, a heads up on parenting....no-one told me that it gets harder on an emotional level as kids grow year by year. When they are babies, even toddlers, it's a different kind of hard. When they grow up, the are less dependent on you physically, but I have learnt that you are more needed for them emotionally.

Over the past few weeks, my daughter Hanna has experienced "bullying" first hand by an older student at her school. It really shocked us, as Hanna is a great kid with a very kind heart. When we first learnt of what had happened, we spoke with the school and more importantly, focused on Han's self-esteem and confidence. By gosh, it was hard work but worth every minute....

The school were fantastic and handled the situation very professional and caring. However, our concern was Hanna as she enters the age of 9 and being self assured to stand up to little girls who are down right mean and rude.

Well, our baby did! It took awhile for her to gain her own courage in her own time, which I had to be patient with on many levels. We just stood by Hanna and breathed confidence in her every day, gave her the tools to move forward and to deal with similar situations in the future. It has been a slow process...but tonight, I nearly burst into tears at the dinner table.

Hanna proudly told us that she had a meeting with the nasty girl and her teacher. She eyeballed her and told her what she did was not acceptable and then left the girl to be dealt with and sit in her sorrow. The smile on Hanna's face was priceless. It took alot of courage for her to stand up and confront the bully. We just hope that the little girl learnt a huge life lesson and takes the option of not growing up to be bitchy or a bully, as it gets you no where in life and we need more women to stand up and be proud to say "its not acceptable!".

Are you getting any?

Come on now, lets be honest!

Well, the word going around, is that we all freakin tired and have no energy for wild passionate sex. Is this part of the gig of motherhood? It can easily be, as it's often the last thing we feel like doing as we lay our head on the pillow or our partner gives us the eye across the kitchen bench.

I am on the search for the secret ingredient to give us more energy.....news will be launched next week....

In the meantime, we need to get our minds interested before we can physically be keen for the sack. One of my favorite sex therapists is Dr Laura Berman who is a regular on the Oprah show. Here is some of her advice:

The sex and intimacy cycleSex and intimacy are closely linked in our brains, but men and women respond differently to intimacy. Many men can't feel intimate with their partner unless their sex life is satisfying, but many women can't enjoy sex without intimacy. For men, sex feeds intimacy, and for women, intimacy feeds sex. These sexual differences can be disruptive to your relationship, so it is important to nourish your sex life with intimacy.

One of Dr Berman's solutions:

Commit to Sex at Least Once a Week
While putting sex on your weekly to-do list might seem like one of the least romantic things ever, Dr. Berman says it could be the key to reviving your intimacy. "It feels unromantic at first [to schedule sex] because we have the misconception that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously, which it does in the beginning of the relationship when your dopamine centers of the brain are firing and everything's new and you can't get enough of each other," Dr. Berman says. "But that doesn't work in a long-term relationship. If you wait for it to happen spontaneously, you're going to be waiting forever."

For more information, you can read more of Dr Berman's advice on www.drlauraberman.com

Marriage.....Complicated? Happiness? In her opinon....

I recently read in an interview given by Gai Waterhouse, the famous Australian thoroughbred trainer about her secret to making a marriage last....I kept the article to remind me of her philosophy, as it's one worth reading.

Gai explained in the interview that the secret to making her marriage work is making her husband the priority in her life, as she will not have her kids forever. They will eventually move on with their own lives and relationships and she prefers not to be on of those mothers swinging on the children's tails.

She continued to explain "I want to look after my husband so when he gets home he has the girlfriend, not the cranky wife. Now that doesn't always happen, but, as you know, I really make him my No.1 concern and he lets me on a very loose rein; he lets me have my freedom. I couldn't stand it if my husband were restrictive with me".

Interesting! I remember watching an Oprah show years ago with a strong opinionated woman stood up in the audience and claimed that she put her husband before her children. The majority of women were outraged asking  "how could you not put your children first?". It caused an interesting debate. Later on in the show, the woman with the opinion explained "If I dont look after my marriage, everything else suffers". It made sense to me.

However, I am sure we are all for the idea of making our partner our priority, but it must be a two way partnership. It would be easy to give up on this idea if there was no loving in return.

One of the best books I have ever read on relationships is "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. The husband and I read this book years ago. It was an eye opener and we implemented the tools which is the basis of our marriage. We know that if we have the love languages in place, everything else will be fine.

Take the assessment today and figure out your love language. Ask your partner to take his test. The result may surprise you. It could be the answer you have been looking for to find out how your partner works....

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives

I have a secret to share.....

Today I admitted and surrendered to the fact that I am a tired woman walking around with no energy. Generally, I would consider myself healthy. I eat well, I hydrate, I exercise (well you know) and I take supplements. However, something is missing and that something is draining me!

So, my journey of self discovery starts today with the accountability of a newly appointed naturopath and my blog to you.

From the past few months, since I have been connected with you, I feel a real sense of community of women and mothers. Hence, the reason for sharing this journey with you. I am pretty certain there is a majority of women who feel the same and I am hoping my exposure helps them take the step to sort out their energy levels too.

I promise to be honest with you BUT you need to promise to be honest with yourself. DEAL!!!

Ok, so today, I find myself in the naturopath's office with a 90 minute consultation of my past 37 years. Confronting and exciting. I have been sent off for full blood tests, a body scan, a psych test and a new eating plan. The journey has begun...

My goals - to have new levels of energy, to wake each morning fresh and ready to take on the day, to increase my sex drive, to improve my inner health, to reduce my bags under my eyes, to create a habit of exercise and meditation and to set in place a healthy mindset to move into my 38th year of life. I feel like I have found the perfect woman to lead me on this self discovery.......stay tuned for the findings along the way.....xxx