It has made me wonder! Just before I get into this topic, a heads up on parenting....no-one told me that it gets harder on an emotional level as kids grow year by year. When they are babies, even toddlers, it's a different kind of hard. When they grow up, the are less dependent on you physically, but I have learnt that you are more needed for them emotionally.
Over the past few weeks, my daughter Hanna has experienced "bullying" first hand by an older student at her school. It really shocked us, as Hanna is a great kid with a very kind heart. When we first learnt of what had happened, we spoke with the school and more importantly, focused on Han's self-esteem and confidence. By gosh, it was hard work but worth every minute....
The school were fantastic and handled the situation very professional and caring. However, our concern was Hanna as she enters the age of 9 and being self assured to stand up to little girls who are down right mean and rude.
Well, our baby did! It took awhile for her to gain her own courage in her own time, which I had to be patient with on many levels. We just stood by Hanna and breathed confidence in her every day, gave her the tools to move forward and to deal with similar situations in the future. It has been a slow process...but tonight, I nearly burst into tears at the dinner table.
Hanna proudly told us that she had a meeting with the nasty girl and her teacher. She eyeballed her and told her what she did was not acceptable and then left the girl to be dealt with and sit in her sorrow. The smile on Hanna's face was priceless. It took alot of courage for her to stand up and confront the bully. We just hope that the little girl learnt a huge life lesson and takes the option of not growing up to be bitchy or a bully, as it gets you no where in life and we need more women to stand up and be proud to say "its not acceptable!".
I'd like to believe there is a kind heart in every one. Unfortunately I don't always see it because we sometimes allow our own weaknesses to railroad it. Wherever I see bully kids or bitchy women (and some men) I always ask myself why. The answers almost always come in the form of jealousy, low self esteem, fear, insecurity, intolerance, ignorance, etc. They hurt because they are hurting. This is what I say to Jensen, my 6yr old son, when he asks why people are mean. I explain that it is not him with the problem but them.
ReplyDeleteI also teach him that it is the responsibility of the strong to take care of the weak. We need to be courageous to stand up to this sort of behaviour, to not take part (directly or indirectly)and say no.
From my experiences as a parent, especially as a mother, I totally empathise with the idea that as our children grow up they become more dependant on us for emotional and mental guidance and less for physical needs. It is this guidance, along with love & acceptance which we must always give, will ensure that our children don't become bullies and hopefully defend those that are being bullied.
Hanna and Raquel, the world is proud of you.